henry and i made up. we stopped being angry at each other and we've been seeing each other quite frequently. i dont know if he still likes me for that matter. but im glad we're friends again? im such a horrible person but thank you, thank you for liking me even when you have seen all my flaws and weaknesses. and i never thought i'd like you? but i think i kinda do. i dont feel butterflies or fireworks with you. with you its never like that. its this safe feeling that you give me. this concrete and down to earth feeling cuz i've known you for so long and we've built this up from scratch, from being friends. i know that no other guy will ever treat me the way you do. and this time, i'll count my blessings and treat you like how i should have long ago. i hope its not too late.

where did my confidence go to? no, im not wallowing in self pity i just constantly feel like im not good enough and this is eating me up. dont know how to put this. life just isnt good.

we havent talked for a very long time. i suppose its my fault cause im the one who did all the mean things to you. on any other day if you'd ask me, i'd say i dont care but today i just happened to read the notes you posted on facebook in 2009. it just brought back so many memories and it got me thinking.. so much drama within those 3 years.in 2009, we were still talking. you were my best guy friend. i know i always say you are an asshole and you totally piss me off all the time, but you knew me so well. i have to admit,its not that i didnt like you. i just wasnt sure whether i did or not.i think the reason why i couldnt get myself to accept you was cause of my insecurity. i was afraid i couldnt fit into your social circle that i wasnt "cool" enough.that we wouldnt last, i just wanted to play hard to get. plus the fact that you did everything that i hated.you did everything you said you wont. you broke every promise you made to me. you made me think that my opinion didnt matter so why would i wanna be with you when in fact you made me feel my opinion meant so little? you know what, if you were to quit smoking, quit being a clubber, i would actually be nice to you? smoking, clubbing.. you did it all dude. in your note, you said smoking was such a turn-off and you even swore to stop smoking on oovoo. do you even rmb? but as time passed, guess where it ended up.. idk sometimes i confuse myself.i tell everyone i know what an asshole you are, how much i dislike you and how much i dont give a fuck about you, but i guess deep down i do and nobody knows this. i dont like you that wat but. you have always been there for me and.i dont wanna lose a friend like you. guess i alrdy did. we dont talk anymore. and i know deep down that this time its different, this time you wont come back like the many other times. you didnt wish me happy birthday this year. i made you give up hope on us and i even lied to you behind your back. you forgave me time and again but i just blamed you all this time. im sorry. you will never read this but im sorry.im sorry i couldnt reciprocate the way you hoped i would. i didnt treasure our friendship. dumbo is sitting right in front of me and it reminds me of our lost friendship.just so you know, it was good knowing you and it was good while it lasted. its a pity we're not able to be part of each other's life. but i know you'll be so much happier. thanks for the memories. last time i'll ever talk about you.