this year just literally blew past. one whole year.. and to be honest, i've no idea what have i achieved or done good. i'm glad(from the bottom of my heart)that i survived promos and it was like having this sudden sense of achievement cuz i'd honestly thought i would be one of the people retaining. i just want to get my study mode back. i know how important it is to work hard and doubly hard for me since im not as smart as other people but i've just been so lazy these days.. bumming around doing nothing. this has to stop, i tell myself i gotta do something but i end up doing nothing and i feel so useless somehow. have you ever felt like you lacked this certain drive or maybe you call it passion? im lacking in some sort of burning passion and determination to do this. i've to face this : there is no more time. not anymore if i continue lazing my holidays away. i dont want to be the loser next year. i need to do my thing get my mojo back and feel good about myself again.

i've everything i want in my life. friends,check.family, half check. money, check. studies, ATM check. but sometimes i still feel like i have nothing. i know my friends and all are not going to leave me, but sometimes i just have security issues i cannot deal with. i constantly feel threatened by the possibility that they might not like me, or what do they think of me?, will they leave me? you might say its stupid to feel that way/dont be so oversensitive but believe me, i've tried to shrug this off but deep down inside me, i do feel that way.

p/s.  why is my face like that? my pimples are hideous though they're healing. pimples you srly need to gtfo my face :"(